Isabellyboo

I played poker Friday night. I got second place.

This weekend I decorated a lot.

I installed a curtain hanger. I’m the handyman of the household. Charley holds things for me or hands me items. We needed a bug catcher for the sliding door so I put up this netting. And then I sewed some butterflies and dragonflies on it so it looks like they got caught in the netting.

I finally hung up paintings and frames. And I put up some paper butterflies. Oh, and I fixed up a nice music player for us. It’s embedded into the bookshelf.

It’s all very nice. Soothing, comforting, peaceful, relaxing. All good things.

My mom and youngest sister with her baby are visiting. It’s nice to be with them and my nephew is totally a future heart breaker.

Mia and Joe got haircuts. They look amazing. Mia looks even tinier. And Joe is just totally handsome now. No more Fabio hair.

I’m sleeping right now. Charley got some sleeping pills yesterday and took them last night. He’s been having problems sleeping. I decided to take some as well just to check it out. Also, I was hoping that they would put me into a deep enough sleep that I wouldn’t be disturbed by our neighbors. I took them too late though so I’m still sleeping now.

Splat.

Shhh…
Don’t show don’t tell.
This pony’s got a jingle bell
full of love for the thugs.

She wears Lugz.

Come and git your licks,
Sista Pony’s got the kicks.

She ain’t nuthin but a fine mama.
Sista Pony make you wanna…

*Unh*

Sista Pony want chu to know that she be HOT TO TROT.

Sista be winning all the races down at the track.

She’ll win you one large sack full of cracked

Corn.

All the other pony’s be worn, so forlorn.

Bet big, bet hard.

This pony’s got the mighty thighs and the mighty rump

To make you fo’get your change be CHUMP!

After the win, she gonna sing her big whinny song.

Won’t be long

Till you be rakin’ in the riches

Cause she outshine all them bitches.

You know what Sista Pony be wantin’ after da win?

Come on Daddy Mac,

Give her some oats

Out of her sack.

This pony’s victory ain’t no sin.

To keep this baby safe and sound,

Give Sista a nice rub down.

RUUUUUB DOOOOWN.

I attempted to make homemade macaroni and cheese last night. No help from Velveeta because that stuff is a little weird. I made some mistakes along the way and it came out…gross.

Yvonne and I watched Nancy Drew last night. The 2007 version with Emma Roberts. It was really cute. Those books were my life when I was younger. Nancy Drew and The Three Investigators. I would read them while eating a bean and cheese burrito. Sometimes the cheesy bean blobs would fall out of my tortilla and splat on the pages. Even after wiping them off, you could still see the smudges. If you go to the Josephine County Library in Grants Pass, Oregon and check out one of these books, you’ll find my burrito traces between the pages.

I may have taken things a little too far today. I’m mainly worried about Charley giving me grief and chanting “I told you so!” Because he did tell me so last night when I was describing my prank.

I played an April Fools prank on some individuals today. A very professional looking but totally ridiculous prank. One person didn’t get past the professionalism of it and may have reported this to their superior. I’m not sure. I half think they’re turning the tables on me and I half think that I’m in trouble. My plan is to deny deny deny.

Anyway, I did a lot of reading about April Fools today and the most interesting thing I learned was that the French used to put real dead fish on people’s backs. They now use paper fish which they have to stealthily pin to the fools’ backs. I want to put dead fish on someone’s back. But how would it stay? I think it would have to be placed more over the shoulder than on the back.

P.S.

I love pranks.

This makes me feel dizzy…

Image: compliments of BellaSugar

I’ve been celebrity gossip-free for two weeks!

I saw a cosmetic commercial this weekend featuring Halle Berry. As I was admiring her beauty, I found myself wondering if she had her baby yet because it seemed as if she was pregnant for years. And I had no way of knowing if she had her baby because I wasn’t visiting the celebrity gossip sites or even watching the gossip shows on TV. And me not knowing this made me feel quite proud of myself. Not long ago, if someone were to ask a general celebrity related question, I would have been the first to respond with the most up to date answer. Now I’m totally clueless about these things and it makes me feel great.

Oh, but as I was telling Yvonne this yesterday, she told me that Halle Berry did have her baby.

That’s right, I don’t like movies or stories set in space. Except for Star Trek: The Next Generation. Space is dark and it makes me sleepy (same with Batman).

What I do like are stories about orphans, magic (in the present and past but not in the future), heists, escapes, old west, and disguises.

The cast of my ideal movie would include:

Daniel Radcliffe - an young boy who escapes the orphanage because the nuns were making him eat roaches.

Colin Farrell - a Fagen-type character who knows the ins and outs of the streets and takes Daniel under his wing. Unfortunately, Colin cannot provide Daniel with anything much better than roaches.

Keanu Reeves - a wise magician who turns up during Daniel’s neediest moments to bear him bread. Throughout the tale, Keanu will show up frequently and eventually start to teach Daniel the art of witchcraft.

William Shockley - will reprise his role as Hank from Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. Hank is owner of the slummiest saloon in town and has a thing for dewy whores.

Ewan McGreggor - a drag prostitute scoping out the bank from his cover in Hank’s saloon across the street. Many hilarious moments ensue when Hank tries to woo Ewan.

Johnny Depp - the handsome sheriff. Johnny suffers from short-term memory loss but is able to keep his post as town sheriff because he is so handsome. Johnny must keep the town peace and has recently been enlisted by the King to find his daughter.

Brent Spiner - will reprise his role as Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation. Data comes into contact with Johnny when he accidentally steps into the wrong holodeck room. Data is dressed as Sherlock Holmes and Johnny enlists his services in taking down Ewan. Data devises clever ways to assist Johnny with his memory condition.

Isabelle - the King’s lost princess. Lured by Keanu into a hallow tree where she eats a poisoned slice of bread. Destined to slumber forever unless a handsome law enforcer gives her love’s one true kiss. Luckily for the princess, Johnny, the handsome law enforcer suffers from short-term memory loss and proceeds to kiss her a million times.

Extras - will be played by clones of Timothy Oliphant.

This movie would actually be a mini-series with 1000 episodes that are two hours long each.

What is this?! What is happening?!

Image: compliments of yumsugar