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I attempted to make homemade macaroni and cheese last night. No help from Velveeta because that stuff is a little weird. I made some mistakes along the way and it came out…gross.
Yvonne and I watched Nancy Drew last night. The 2007 version with Emma Roberts. It was really cute. Those books were my life when I was younger. Nancy Drew and The Three Investigators. I would read them while eating a bean and cheese burrito. Sometimes the cheesy bean blobs would fall out of my tortilla and splat on the pages. Even after wiping them off, you could still see the smudges. If you go to the Josephine County Library in Grants Pass, Oregon and check out one of these books, you’ll find my burrito traces between the pages.
That’s right, I don’t like movies or stories set in space. Except for Star Trek: The Next Generation. Space is dark and it makes me sleepy (same with Batman).
What I do like are stories about orphans, magic (in the present and past but not in the future), heists, escapes, old west, and disguises.
The cast of my ideal movie would include:
Daniel Radcliffe - an young boy who escapes the orphanage because the nuns were making him eat roaches.
Colin Farrell - a Fagen-type character who knows the ins and outs of the streets and takes Daniel under his wing. Unfortunately, Colin cannot provide Daniel with anything much better than roaches.
Keanu Reeves - a wise magician who turns up during Daniel’s neediest moments to bear him bread. Throughout the tale, Keanu will show up frequently and eventually start to teach Daniel the art of witchcraft.
William Shockley - will reprise his role as Hank from Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. Hank is owner of the slummiest saloon in town and has a thing for dewy whores.
Ewan McGreggor - a drag prostitute scoping out the bank from his cover in Hank’s saloon across the street. Many hilarious moments ensue when Hank tries to woo Ewan.
Johnny Depp - the handsome sheriff. Johnny suffers from short-term memory loss but is able to keep his post as town sheriff because he is so handsome. Johnny must keep the town peace and has recently been enlisted by the King to find his daughter.
Brent Spiner - will reprise his role as Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation. Data comes into contact with Johnny when he accidentally steps into the wrong holodeck room. Data is dressed as Sherlock Holmes and Johnny enlists his services in taking down Ewan. Data devises clever ways to assist Johnny with his memory condition.
Isabelle - the King’s lost princess. Lured by Keanu into a hallow tree where she eats a poisoned slice of bread. Destined to slumber forever unless a handsome law enforcer gives her love’s one true kiss. Luckily for the princess, Johnny, the handsome law enforcer suffers from short-term memory loss and proceeds to kiss her a million times.
Extras - will be played by clones of Timothy Oliphant.
This movie would actually be a mini-series with 1000 episodes that are two hours long each.
