I may have taken things a little too far today. I’m mainly worried about Charley giving me grief and chanting “I told you so!” Because he did tell me so last night when I was describing my prank.

I played an April Fools prank on some individuals today. A very professional looking but totally ridiculous prank. One person didn’t get past the professionalism of it and may have reported this to their superior. I’m not sure. I half think they’re turning the tables on me and I half think that I’m in trouble. My plan is to deny deny deny.

Anyway, I did a lot of reading about April Fools today and the most interesting thing I learned was that the French used to put real dead fish on people’s backs. They now use paper fish which they have to stealthily pin to the fools’ backs. I want to put dead fish on someone’s back. But how would it stay? I think it would have to be placed more over the shoulder than on the back.

P.S.

I love pranks.

My friend wrote a list of his likes and dislikes. He asked people to share but instead of putting my list in a long comment, I decided to put it here.

This isn’t everything but the list would go on and on if I didn’t cut it off at some point.

Paws down:

buying clothes

people who don’t say hi

having to pee and poo

taking showers

star wars

space stories

UGLY NEIGHBORS

cuts

guts

blood

teeth things

deciding what to eat

too many sweets

my feet

fart smokes

fats

cats

smelling like food

losing

sulfates/sulfites

too much talking

reggae

 

Paws up:

having clothes

saying hi to people

just having peed and poo-ed

feeling clean

butts

mutts

yogurt

handsome boys

SUN SUMMER FUN

being tan

drawing

reading

CEREAL

your feet

fart jokes

savory

popcorn

games

winning

TRICKS

orphans

The friends I have made outside of work are for the most part non-smokers. A lot of the friends I have made at work are smokers. Generally, a lot of people at work are smokers. A standard work day is 9-5 with people staying late as needed. A standard smoke break usually starts at 10:00 a.m., mere 60-minutes after arriving. Then the smoke breaks continue to happen on the hour, every hour till the end of the day. They last for 5-10 minutes each time. If I saved up all the breaks I could be taking if I were a smoker, I think I could retire early.

I don’t really look forward to going to work functions, happy hours, goodbye parties, birthday celebrations, etc., because again, every 20 minutes (it’s more frequent during these events) my work friends will go outside or onto the patio to take a smoke break. This leaves me standing inside the bar holding the same, empty and lonesome bottle of beer I’ve been holding all night long. This empty bottle is basically a decoy since I need to drive home and a little goes a long way for me. So instead of having to answer questions about whether or not I drink, if they can get me something, or if I want to take a shot with them, I hold up my decoy bottle to let everyone know that yes, I am a drinker; no thanks, I’m currently working on a drink; and sorry, I don’t mix.

Again, before you think I’m some fuddy-duddy, I have to stress that a little goes a long way for me. If I’m with someone who can safely take me home, or if I can walk home, then I’ll enjoy a couple of cocktails. But since I don’t trust myself to drive home after even just two beers, I carry around an empty beer bottle. This doesn’t mean that I pretend to be drunk. No way. I’ve been in the company of a fake drunkie and it was very annoying. I couldn’t do that to someone, or subject myself to that sort of embarrassment.

Speaking of embarrassments, I’ve definitely cut down (although compared to many, I didn’t have a lot to cut down from) since Halloween of 2006. That night will forever haunt my life.