Two doors down from me lives my nemesis. She is 12 and large.

First encounter - Walking home from work last summer. I was was wearing a blue dress and brown polka-dotted flats. She was sitting across from my apartment with two younger kids. As I walked by I heard, “no ugly shoes allowed here.” Hm…could she have been talking about me? We were all wearing shoes. I kept walking. When my back was to her I heard, “No ugly dresses allowed here.” I was the only one wearing a dress! She was talking about me. I wanted to turn around and tell her to reign in her new boobs with a training bra so that when she furiously rides around on her Razor scooter they wouldn’t flop around menacingly. But, she’s a child and she knows where I live.

Second encounter - Also last summer but this time I was with my sister, thank goodness! We were walking back to my apartment talking and laughing. The Nemesis was sitting across the path again. As my sister and I turned into my walkway, we heard a mimicry of our laughter coming from behind us. My sister looked back and said that it was the Nemesis mocking us.

Third encounter - Yesterday, while my sister and I were laying out by the pool. I looked up and saw the Nemesis. She was with a friend. They parked themselves across the pool and she took video of us.

Fourth encounter - Also yesterday but later in the afternoon. My sister and I were walking to my apartment after we were finished reading outside. The Nemesis crossed our path to go into her home. As we passed her, my sister saw her crouched in her doorway aiming her video camera and taking footage of us.

In between encounters - Constant stares.

One good thing about the Nemesis is that I’ve learned a good dance move from her.

I wonder if I could hire her to harass my upstairs neighbors.