No, this has nothing to do with the poops you’re all familiar with. I’m referring to one of the comments left for The BFF Crew.

This has everything to do with poops in relation to girl-time. Girl-time. I like to make girl friends but I always get major anxiety about where it’ll lead and it usually leads to “girls’ night.” During girls’ night, there are lots of discussions about pedicures, dildos, boyfriends meeting boyfriends, designer jeans and plans to arrange more girls’ nights.

1) Pedicures - I have never gotten nor will I ever get a pedicure. I hate my feet and I want to minimize any attention towards them. (Great, I just brought attention to them). Also, I don’t ever want to slave over someone else’s feet, so do unto others and such.

2) Dildos - OK, sometimes I want to talk about dildos, like what a great name it has, how it can be used as a weapon against foes (Sorority Boys), and how serene it would look floating in a swimming pool. What I don’t want to talk about is what can be done with dildos that don’t involve weaponry or swimming pools…while drinking wine and high-fiving each other.

3) Boyfriends meeting boyfriends - This is just too stressful and should happen naturally without any force or nagging or pretty pleases.

4) Designer jeans - I don’t own any. I have no idea what this lifestyle is like.

5) Plans to arrange more girls’ nights - AAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Plus, if it’s girls’ night out, I can’t dance sexily and my boobs aren’t big enough to buy me drinks. So I can’t share any glory stories at the next girls’ night in.

So yah, poops.